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When Your Kid Is NOT Ready For Potty-Training

Dom

Every once in a while, D.O. gives us this tiny little ray of hope that he’s ready to potty train… and then he yanks it away with such force, that it leaves our heads spinning. We want to him to transition into potty training, and yet most of our friends are telling us that he is too young and that typically boys don’t really start until closer to 3 years old. UGH. Have you changed his diaper recently? He may act like a toddler, but he doesn’t poop like one, okay? And I think you know what I’m saying. So I guess you could say I’m in a hurry to be done with the diapers. I’m SO ready for this child to potty train.

Well this weekend was one of those days when he gave us some hope for a change. A tiny sign that he might be getting ready. So let me set the stage for you… It’s a Sunday morning, we’re hanging out around the house and making breakfast. D.O. comes over and our conversation ensues as follows:

D.O. – “Mama pee-pee!”

Me – “Oh, you need to go pee-pee? Or did you already go in your diaper?

D.O. – “NO!”

So I excitedly rush him over to the toilet and he takes a seat. And HE PEES! Yay D.O.!! Good job buddy!! We decide that since we’re all just hanging out, it’s alright for him to just cruise and see if he wants to try potty training again. As the morning progresses, we continue to have a couple little successes. And when I say “successes” I mean he comes over and says “Mama pee-pee!” and he runs over to the toilet, climbs up and sits down and then a couple drops dribble out and he starts screaming and jumps up and down with joy. And even better when shouts, “Mama poo-poo!” and then he runs over to the toilet, let’s out a huge fart, and then waves his hands around hollering, “All done, Mama!” But hey, we’ll take that. We aren’t picky… at least he seems to be quite aware of what his body is doing right? Right.

See, it’s important you know that before we move onto the next part of our story. The ugly part. It all started while we were on Skype with family. D.O.’s got his naked tushie on our couch while we’re chatting and we’re all giggling about how cute it is. Because it is… let’s face it. The kid’s got an ADORABLE backside. All of a sudden our little dog Josie starts whining at the back door and she wants to come inside. So D.O. hops up, runs over and opens it. But guess what? It’s freezing outside and quite breezy… Yep, you got it. The little gust of cold air was all it took. We watch in horror as he stands there, one hand on the door knob and looking down at his “boy parts” as he pees all over our floor. UGH. Seriously?

Naturally, my first instinct is to put him back in a diaper. He was so not having that. And since I do realize that there will be accidents, and that he still has to learn… we sit down and have a little chat about where he was supposed to go potty and that he needs to tell us. And we continue to keep asking, like any good parent would do.

Let’s give a quick little reminder… He is aware of what his body is doing. Multiple times, on this very day, he had told us he needed to go. And each time, something came out – even if it was just a dribble or a toot. Which is why this next horror was mind boggling. Hubbalicious went to switch the laundry. And there it was… To help you get a visual, I’m going to give you the same description he so vividly gave me: “It looks like he squatted down and left a little bee-hive with a perfect little pinch off at the top.” Really?? Words can’t describe how hard I’m laughing at this point. But did we put him in a diaper? Nope. Call us a glutton for punishment, or call us stupid… whatever, we deserve them both.

I mean, really – the first time, kinda seemed like an acceptable accident. The second time, he flat out chose to go in the laundry room. He had to go PAST the bathroom to get to the laundry room, so that’s just flat out belligerent behavior. And yet we still have a naked butt running around our house. Stupid parents – right here. I’m just owning it.

And D.O. took the opportunity to really rub it in. As if peeing on our floor and pooping in our laundry room wasn’t enough, he wanted to just really sock it to us with a final blow. We’re in the kitchen, doing dishes. And D.O. loves to be a part of it, so he’s climbing over the back of the couch and onto the kitchen counter. Suddenly, as he’s halfway in between, with his body hovering over the counter but one leg still on the couch, he just starts peeing!! ON. OUR. COUNTER. And it doesn’t look like any kind of an accident. He is like straight up, leaning into it. He looks like a dog lifting his leg. For real. Is this happening right now? Yes. It really is.

So guess what? He’s back in a diaper. I’m not stupid. I do realize this fail is as much our fault as it is his…. I think. I don’t know the secret to potty training. Hahaha, as if that sentence even needed to be said. I think this story pretty much demonstrates that I’m not a potty training wizard. But you know what I do know?

I do know what happens when your kid is NOT ready to potty train. I think we’ll try again another day. A day when we’re playing outside, maybe?

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8 comments
8 comments… add one
  • Julie April 10, 2014, 1:47 pm

    We did wait until our boys were three before we started potting training. And it took some patience, waiting for them to want it. But once they did the potty training went really quickly and without many accidents.

    • Leah Sannar April 10, 2014, 2:00 pm

      Yeah, I guess I need to wait a minute… :o) But that kid can seriously destroy a diaper, and he’s started taking them off whenever he feels like it. So I’ve gotta figure something out!!

  • Aimee Fauci April 10, 2014, 4:09 pm

    Ok let me begin by.. i need to start following your blog… I can relate and you are funny (like me ;-) )— I have run a home daycare for 6 years and have potty trained my 2 girls and in the process of doing my 3rd girl! I will say that boys and girls are different when it comes to potty training; each child is a mystery. I can say I’ve never had a penis, BUT if I did I would be fascinated to see myself pee like your son did… I’ve had baby boy’s pee on my dog or in a plant.. they are fascinated with seeing themselves aim and pee! The cold wind is an understandable ‘accident’. Now the poo, which with my daughter.. we would call them torpedos because they were massive— have you considered tracking him as he gets away from you and grabbing him when he cops a squat in the laundry room or maybe putting up a baby gate so he does not have access to that part of the house? It’s tough but IMO don’t give up or get frustrated.. It is good that he knows the concept.. I have 3 yr old GIRLS that don’t get the concept or just don’t want to do it. I always tell my parents not to sweat it cause he won’t be walking down the aisle w a diaper on! <3 house of fauci's

    • Leah Sannar April 10, 2014, 5:25 pm

      Haha! That’s so true! I totally told my husband it was our fault that he pooped in the laundry room – he never should have been “unattended” for that long… though I do have to say, we don’t just let him roam wherever he wants unattended – so he HAD to have been like a “stealth bomber” for us not to notice. For real. :o) Excited to have you in my little community Aimee!!

  • Jennifer S. April 10, 2014, 7:10 pm

    I remember my Mom potty training my younger siblings… oh the stories I could tell! Its true, when they say that when they’re ready, they’ll let you know… My Mom made a HUGE deal each time they were successful… I remember running around the house singing “matthew made a pee! Hurray! Hurray!! Hurray!!” as loud as we could… like I said, Stories!! :D

    • Leah Sannar April 10, 2014, 8:40 pm

      That’s so fun! Yeah I was thinking I would go get a jar of jelly beans (he loves them) and let him grab one every time he sits down on the potty. Potty training stories are so much funnier when they aren’t happening to you! :o)

  • Cricket April 10, 2014, 10:03 pm

    Our son trained at 2 and a half. Our daughter at 3. He was much easier than she was. When you’re both ready it will happen :-)

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