Every once in a while, D.O. gives us this tiny little ray of hope that he’s ready to potty train… and then he yanks it away with such force, that it leaves our heads spinning. We want to him to transition into potty training, and yet most of our friends are telling us that he is too young and that typically boys don’t really start until closer to 3 years old. UGH. Have you changed his diaper recently? He may act like a toddler, but he doesn’t poop like one, okay? And I think you know what I’m saying. So I guess you could say I’m in a hurry to be done with the diapers. I’m SO ready for this child to potty train.
Well this weekend was one of those days when he gave us some hope for a change. A tiny sign that he might be getting ready. So let me set the stage for you… It’s a Sunday morning, we’re hanging out around the house and making breakfast. D.O. comes over and our conversation ensues as follows:
D.O. – “Mama pee-pee!”
Me – “Oh, you need to go pee-pee? Or did you already go in your diaper?
D.O. – “NO!”
So I excitedly rush him over to the toilet and he takes a seat. And HE PEES! Yay D.O.!! Good job buddy!! We decide that since we’re all just hanging out, it’s alright for him to just cruise and see if he wants to try potty training again. As the morning progresses, we continue to have a couple little successes. And when I say “successes” I mean he comes over and says “Mama pee-pee!” and he runs over to the toilet, climbs up and sits down and then a couple drops dribble out and he starts screaming and jumps up and down with joy. And even better when shouts, “Mama poo-poo!” and then he runs over to the toilet, let’s out a huge fart, and then waves his hands around hollering, “All done, Mama!” But hey, we’ll take that. We aren’t picky… at least he seems to be quite aware of what his body is doing right? Right.
See, it’s important you know that before we move onto the next part of our story. The ugly part. It all started while we were on Skype with family. D.O.’s got his naked tushie on our couch while we’re chatting and we’re all giggling about how cute it is. Because it is… let’s face it. The kid’s got an ADORABLE backside. All of a sudden our little dog Josie starts whining at the back door and she wants to come inside. So D.O. hops up, runs over and opens it. But guess what? It’s freezing outside and quite breezy… Yep, you got it. The little gust of cold air was all it took. We watch in horror as he stands there, one hand on the door knob and looking down at his “boy parts” as he pees all over our floor. UGH. Seriously?
Naturally, my first instinct is to put him back in a diaper. He was so not having that. And since I do realize that there will be accidents, and that he still has to learn… we sit down and have a little chat about where he was supposed to go potty and that he needs to tell us. And we continue to keep asking, like any good parent would do.
Let’s give a quick little reminder… He is aware of what his body is doing. Multiple times, on this very day, he had told us he needed to go. And each time, something came out – even if it was just a dribble or a toot. Which is why this next horror was mind boggling. Hubbalicious went to switch the laundry. And there it was… To help you get a visual, I’m going to give you the same description he so vividly gave me: “It looks like he squatted down and left a little bee-hive with a perfect little pinch off at the top.” Really?? Words can’t describe how hard I’m laughing at this point. But did we put him in a diaper? Nope. Call us a glutton for punishment, or call us stupid… whatever, we deserve them both.
I mean, really – the first time, kinda seemed like an acceptable accident. The second time, he flat out chose to go in the laundry room. He had to go PAST the bathroom to get to the laundry room, so that’s just flat out belligerent behavior. And yet we still have a naked butt running around our house. Stupid parents – right here. I’m just owning it.
And D.O. took the opportunity to really rub it in. As if peeing on our floor and pooping in our laundry room wasn’t enough, he wanted to just really sock it to us with a final blow. We’re in the kitchen, doing dishes. And D.O. loves to be a part of it, so he’s climbing over the back of the couch and onto the kitchen counter. Suddenly, as he’s halfway in between, with his body hovering over the counter but one leg still on the couch, he just starts peeing!! ON. OUR. COUNTER. And it doesn’t look like any kind of an accident. He is like straight up, leaning into it. He looks like a dog lifting his leg. For real. Is this happening right now? Yes. It really is.
So guess what? He’s back in a diaper. I’m not stupid. I do realize this fail is as much our fault as it is his…. I think. I don’t know the secret to potty training. Hahaha, as if that sentence even needed to be said. I think this story pretty much demonstrates that I’m not a potty training wizard. But you know what I do know?
I do know what happens when your kid is NOT ready to potty train. I think we’ll try again another day. A day when we’re playing outside, maybe?