Recently, I sort of half announced in a not very exciting way, that Hubbalicious and I are back on the adoption list, hoping to adopt, and grow our family one last time. I guess if I’m being honest, I would have to admit that throwing it in there at the end in a haphazardly way was on purpose. For some reason, this time around, it’s been hard to put myself out there and let the whole world know we’re hoping to adopt. Not because it’s embarrassing or anything, but it kinda feels like fear of rejection. Like somehow, if we tell everyone we’re on the list and then it’s nothing but crickets for the next 3 years, people will feel sorry for us or something. It’s so silly, I know that. That’s why I’m here to announce it for all to
hear read, despite my silliness. So you want to hear how it happened? It all went pretty fast, actually.
The Sannars Are Hoping To Adopt!
Every so often, I’ll log onto Facebook to find that I’ve been tagged in a post about an adoption situation where an agency is seeking a home study ready adoptive family. All my friends and family are so supportive and it’s so awesome that y’all think of us. Usually by the time I get to those posts, there are about 3,000 comments from home study ready families, hoping to adopt, who have sent their profiles in for consideration. So I typically just let it go and carry on with my day. Since our home study expired in December, we’ve been just taking a step back to consider other options and possibly even work towards wrapping our heads around the idea of just one child. I know we’ve talked about having an only child, and I genuinely feel happy just raising our one amazing little man. Still, I haven’t been able to shake the desire for another child. So this time, when I was tagged in one of those posts, and they were looking for adoptive families with African-American children, I started to pay a little more attention. That narrowed the field of potential families pretty drastically, so I thought maybe we wouldn’t be part of such a huge crowd.
Our home study was expired, so I didn’t think anything would come of it… but I made the call anyway. Only a few people had responded, so it seemed like we weren’t such a needle in a haystack. I left a voicemail and surprisingly, a woman called me back fairly quickly. We spoke for quite a while and she was very kind. She started telling me a little about her agency and how their marketing package works. We had never felt super excited about just setting up a profile on adoption.com and waiting it out. So listening to her talk about how they work with birth mothers and other agencies and are actively helping families who are hoping to adopt, sounded a lot more promising to both of us.
Updating Our Home Study
After we got off the phone, I decided to call an Adoption Home Study specialist in our area and explore options, and we struck another lucky break. It turned out that since our Home Study was only recently expired, she could update a lot of the items instead of starting fresh. I talked to Hubbalicious about it that night, and with us both on board to give it a shot, we went to work on our checklist. Within a week, we had our Home Study completed and sent to the Adoption Agency. Shortly thereafter, we paid our money and were all of a sudden “Hoping to Adopt.”
It happened really fast! And if you’re anything like me, then you’re probably thinking, “Wait a minute, you paid money?” And yes, I was pretty hesitant and even skeptical myself. But I did extensive research into the agency, and other agencies. Even with our church agency though, when we adopted D, there was an up front fee. We were just lucky back then, because our church subsidized the program. I understand that adoption case workers need to be make a living as well, and that they are working with birth mothers and adoptive families behind the scenes even when adoptions aren’t happening. Plus, I thought a lot about this, and I don’t want to have regrets.
Despite how quickly this whole thing happened, it really wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. If anything, it felt like we finally received the answer to our prayers. I had been really struggling with not being able to grow our family, but I didn’t know what to do about it. We had explored surrogacy, IVF, adoption… and at the time, nothing seemed plausible. Until now. Everything just fell into place and worked out. That to me, meant that we were on the right track.
Living With No Regrets
I wish that meant that I knew we would adopt, but I don’t know that. We may have paid our money for nothing… maybe we wait 5 years and nothing happens. Obviously, that would not be ideal. But I do know this: I want another child, and if paying our money and having an adoption specialist out there advocating for us and actively helping us connect with a birth mother ends without another child, I won’t regret it. Because I’ll know that I did everything I could to grow our family. When D asks me someday how come we didn’t have any more children, I’ll feel confident in telling him that we did all we could to make it happen and it just wasn’t meant to be.
Someday, I might have regretted not paying the money to give it one more shot… But paying the money for peace of mind knowing I did everything in my power to adopt again? I won’t regret that. And maybe, just maybe… the stars will align and a birth mother will choose us.
PS: As a fun little extra to my blog:
I’ve recently started a YouTube series called “Lately With Leah.” I guess you could say it’s like a video diary about basically anything and everything. In my first….episode (?) I tell the story of my nightmare on Venice Beach. So if you’re just dying to hear what I have to say about random topics (which, duh…haha!), or you’re bored and just curious about how my voice sounds in real life, feel free to check it out. If you like it, please subscribe and share it to help me get started. You can always find the most recent video in my sidebar. Thanks for the support! You guys are the best!