Faith in a higher power is a big part of what makes me who I am and this blog wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t take a moment to share with you this piece of my life. I’ve been through my fair share of trials and hardships… as you probably figured, since I’m writing a blog about Crohn’s Disease. Doctors, nurses, friends and family surrounded me nearly every single day – supporting me and comforting me as best they could. I’m so grateful for all the time and sacrifice they gave during this difficult time in my life. I needed them there with me so badly, and they were always there for me. I never could have made it through without their support. True comfort, however, came through my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. For the first time in my life, I was experiencing something that nobody else in my life could relate to. As I would write in my journal in the wee hours of the morning (because I couldn’t sleep with the nurses coming in to check my blood sugar) I began to truly explore my feelings about what I was going through. Only then did I realize that I was angry. I was losing my 20’s, my fertility, my hair, my dignity… my LIFE. I knew I had to hold onto myself or I wasn’t going to make it. I can remember laying in bed one morning thinking, “I’m not even a shadow of the person I used to be… I have to keep ahold of myself or I’ll disappear.” And suddenly I realized – it wasn’t me I needed to hold onto. It was the Lord. He is the only one who is going to get me through this. I spent my whole life believing in Christ and in His gospel, and yet – never had I understood the depths to which He could save me. At least not on such a relevant, personal level. I began to really lean on my beliefs and talk to Him during my quiet moments when I was alone and I knew, that He would carry me through. I never feared death… At the time, I thought it was because I was too out of it to even realize that I was close to death. But now, as I look back, I know it’s because my Savior comforted me. I know this. I’m so grateful for it. I will always remember the feelings I had and things He taught me in my quiet, thoughtful moments.
I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I believe in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that He died for us that we might repent of our sins and return to live with Him again. My name is Leah Sannar. I’m a Mom, a Blogger, a Crohn’s Disease Sufferer, a Cancer Survivor, and I’m a Mormon.